I like the person you are,
but I fear.
I fear you don't know
music.
I fear that your soul is too
sweet.
I fear that I'm all wrong for
you.
I fear you won't break my
heart.
I fear that I'll break
yours.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Monday, December 12, 2011
Week 15: Free Karl
This is an excerpt from a short story I wrote for a friend last year. It's a super cheesy story, but mildly enjoyable. I titled it... Kylie Carson* and the Mists of Avalon
(*name change for protection)
"This, my friends, is the story of Kylie Carson. Raised in a war stricken and impoverished nation, Kyile was able to overcome the trials and tribulations of womanhood to take down the beast of the century. In this heartwarming and vulgar tale of her journey to the top, you will find yourself identifying with this wonderfully brave, yet very controversial woman.
The story begins in the far away land of Sri Lanka, where Kylie and her best friend Kara were on a trip during their spring break. Hoping that this exotic hotspot would offer them the perfect amount of danger and prostitution, Kylie and Kara set off to the country of no restrictions. Looking to make the most of their trip, the girls were up for anything. I mean ANYTHING--no matter how illegal or death-defying it was. Facilitated by their reckless attitude, things got pretty crazy, if you know what I mean. Sri Lanka turned out to be the ultimate spring break spot, well, if you were looking to get an STD, stabbed in the hip, or have live raccoons thrown at you. Needless to say, Kylie and Kara had the most wonderful of times avoiding syphilis and participating in the most competitive league of raccoon dodge ball in the world.
Just when it seemed their dream paradise couldn’t get any better, a man by the Wooey Whannna Humpya limped up to the girls on a street corner, offering them some of his famous “magical morsels”. In broken English, and with minimal teeth, the man shared the whimsical journey in which the morsels would take them upon. He spoke with such passion and fervor about the delightful visions that the morsels would induce that the girls just couldn’t say no. For the bargain price of their virginity and three crack rocks, they obtained these wonders. The brown bits resembled raisins that they knew from their homeland; however, the girls knew that these raisins would take them on a majestic adventure of the mind. Wooey watched as the girls placed the raisins on their unsuspecting tongues. The rough texture of the small brown crumb was accompanied by a horrible taste that lingered in their mouths long after swallowing the disgusting morsel. Upon looking up at the man’s face, the girls realized they may have made a grave mistake. Looking as if he had just pulled off the greatest scam known to man, Wooey let out the most evil, terrifying laugh. His black eyes lit up with deceit, and leaning in closer to the girls, he whispered in a shaking tone, “Hope you enjoyed those morsels of kaka, muahaha!” The creepy old man ran off into a dark alley and became a memory in an instant...."
If you're dying to know what happens in the rest of the story, let me know. Something can be arranged. Haha.
Week 15: Free Hat!
Last week was my brother's birthday, and to celebrate his existence, I want to share one of my favorite memories I have of him. Justin was really an incredible person. He radiated with love and happiness, and I can't imagine there was anyone who wasn't fond of his presence... His joy for life was truly contagious, and he is missed by family and loved ones every day.
I was young--6 or 7 probably. Justin was taking me out to the barn for the first time, just the two of us. It must have been one of the first times he had ever been out to the barn; it's safe to say that he didn't exactly know his way around a horse. Justin was 11 years older than me, and the age difference made our relationship a special one. Never a fight or misunderstanding, he was a great big brother to me. So when no one else was available to take me to PPA on an arctic December day for a lesson, Justin stepped up for his little sister. We arrived at the barn, which was unheated at the time, a less than convenient situation in blisteringly cold South Dakota. I gave Justin a quick tour around the barn, showing him everything I thought he needed to know about: all the stalls, my favorite horses, my locker, hoof picks, brushes, you know, the essentials. He smiled big at me as I showed him around, his cheeks plump and red from the bitter air. It was time to get my lesson horse out for the day. I would be riding Sergie, a red-bay purebred gelding with a gentle soul. Me and Justin retrieved him from the pasture, put him in the cross ties, and began to groom him.
"Justin, you have to brush him with the hair. And you have to get under his belly, and on his legs, and way up on top too."
He simply nodded to my young know-it-all instructions, and was a big help on the top of the back spot, which was far out my short reach. In my first years taking lessons, the pre and post riding groom took far longer than the actual lesson. But I didn't care. I loved the barn, riding, the smells, feeling soft horse hair under my fingertips, all of it. And it was great to finally bring my big brother along. Halfway through getting Sergie ready, we went into the lobby to warm up, leaving Sergie unattended for a few minutes. As you may be aware, horses don't particularly like being alone for even a moment's time, and soon, we would see that Sergie's nerves amounted to something of a mess for Justin and I. Upon returning from the lobby, we came around the corner and saw something that surprised us both--a real puzzle of a sight. A massive wet puddle, frothy in spots lay beneath Sergie, freshly sprouted in our absence. Me and Justin's eyes blew up in fright, not knowing what to say or do. I broke the silence with a naive declaration.
"Sergie threw up! He must be sick, Justin!" I was now worried about him. "We have to go tell Denise!"
"Oh. Yikes. Yes, let's go do that." Justin was worried too. He'd certainly never seen horse throw-up before.
We ran through the lobby hallway and into the other side of the barn where the main arena was. "Denise, Denise, Sergie just threw up!! You have to come quick!!" I shouted into the arena in fright. I was expecting the same sort of reaction from her that Justin and I were experiencing, however, she only blinked her eyes hard and showed a look of complete puzzlement.
"But Kara, horses can't throw up. That's not how their stomach works." She shared calmly, still taken aback by our declaration of fright. I looked up to Justin, who was just as surprised as I was. Surely that couldn't be correct, I thought.
"No, Denise, he really did! There's a big puddle under him and it looks like throw-up, I swear! Come see!"
She followed Justin and I over to Sergie's cross tie, and upon looking at the mystery puddle below his big belly, Denise couldn't help but smile big, holding back eruptions of laughter. "Yeah, that's definitely not throw-up guys."
"Hmm," Justin said. "Well, ahh, what do you suppose it is then?" He must have knew at that point what the unknown puddle was composed of, however, my young mind was still trying to wrap around the whole situation.
"Sergie peed." She simply stated, now holding a hand over her mouth to muffle the laughter.
No, certainly not, I thought. I looked at the puddle, up to a giggling Denise, and over to Justin, holding a look of embarrassment and about to break into laughter himself. Even though I was still dumbfounded with the shocking news, at least Sergie had only peed! What a relief!
"Ohh wow! We didn't know horses couldn't throw up! That's just crazy, Denise!" I said, now smiling big with relief and joy.
We were all laughing. I can guarantee that horse pee has never brought anyone so much joy as it gave us in that moment. I learned a lot that day. I learned that horses can't throw up, what horse pee looks like in a cross tie, and what a great big brother I had for helping me through it all.
I was young--6 or 7 probably. Justin was taking me out to the barn for the first time, just the two of us. It must have been one of the first times he had ever been out to the barn; it's safe to say that he didn't exactly know his way around a horse. Justin was 11 years older than me, and the age difference made our relationship a special one. Never a fight or misunderstanding, he was a great big brother to me. So when no one else was available to take me to PPA on an arctic December day for a lesson, Justin stepped up for his little sister. We arrived at the barn, which was unheated at the time, a less than convenient situation in blisteringly cold South Dakota. I gave Justin a quick tour around the barn, showing him everything I thought he needed to know about: all the stalls, my favorite horses, my locker, hoof picks, brushes, you know, the essentials. He smiled big at me as I showed him around, his cheeks plump and red from the bitter air. It was time to get my lesson horse out for the day. I would be riding Sergie, a red-bay purebred gelding with a gentle soul. Me and Justin retrieved him from the pasture, put him in the cross ties, and began to groom him.
"Justin, you have to brush him with the hair. And you have to get under his belly, and on his legs, and way up on top too."
He simply nodded to my young know-it-all instructions, and was a big help on the top of the back spot, which was far out my short reach. In my first years taking lessons, the pre and post riding groom took far longer than the actual lesson. But I didn't care. I loved the barn, riding, the smells, feeling soft horse hair under my fingertips, all of it. And it was great to finally bring my big brother along. Halfway through getting Sergie ready, we went into the lobby to warm up, leaving Sergie unattended for a few minutes. As you may be aware, horses don't particularly like being alone for even a moment's time, and soon, we would see that Sergie's nerves amounted to something of a mess for Justin and I. Upon returning from the lobby, we came around the corner and saw something that surprised us both--a real puzzle of a sight. A massive wet puddle, frothy in spots lay beneath Sergie, freshly sprouted in our absence. Me and Justin's eyes blew up in fright, not knowing what to say or do. I broke the silence with a naive declaration.
"Sergie threw up! He must be sick, Justin!" I was now worried about him. "We have to go tell Denise!"
"Oh. Yikes. Yes, let's go do that." Justin was worried too. He'd certainly never seen horse throw-up before.
We ran through the lobby hallway and into the other side of the barn where the main arena was. "Denise, Denise, Sergie just threw up!! You have to come quick!!" I shouted into the arena in fright. I was expecting the same sort of reaction from her that Justin and I were experiencing, however, she only blinked her eyes hard and showed a look of complete puzzlement.
"But Kara, horses can't throw up. That's not how their stomach works." She shared calmly, still taken aback by our declaration of fright. I looked up to Justin, who was just as surprised as I was. Surely that couldn't be correct, I thought.
"No, Denise, he really did! There's a big puddle under him and it looks like throw-up, I swear! Come see!"
She followed Justin and I over to Sergie's cross tie, and upon looking at the mystery puddle below his big belly, Denise couldn't help but smile big, holding back eruptions of laughter. "Yeah, that's definitely not throw-up guys."
"Hmm," Justin said. "Well, ahh, what do you suppose it is then?" He must have knew at that point what the unknown puddle was composed of, however, my young mind was still trying to wrap around the whole situation.
"Sergie peed." She simply stated, now holding a hand over her mouth to muffle the laughter.
No, certainly not, I thought. I looked at the puddle, up to a giggling Denise, and over to Justin, holding a look of embarrassment and about to break into laughter himself. Even though I was still dumbfounded with the shocking news, at least Sergie had only peed! What a relief!
"Ohh wow! We didn't know horses couldn't throw up! That's just crazy, Denise!" I said, now smiling big with relief and joy.
We were all laughing. I can guarantee that horse pee has never brought anyone so much joy as it gave us in that moment. I learned a lot that day. I learned that horses can't throw up, what horse pee looks like in a cross tie, and what a great big brother I had for helping me through it all.
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